The Birthday Curse

The Dorkanese Word of the Day: Bombies (bawm-beez): Noun: 1. Something smelly that comes from something cute. See also: tooters. Example: Lucky made bombies in his litty box and I had to bust out the Febreeze to keep from dying.

Well, its technically tomorrow, and I can't sleep (damn Starbucks!) and I have a bunch of errands and housework to do when I get up, so I figure now is as good a time as any to explain The Birthday Curse.

I suppose it started when I was little. Being the only child my parents had together (Brian has a different Mom and is 14 years older than me) meant that I was able to be a spoiled little monkey for my birthday every year. There is video footage of my 5th birthday and it pains me to look at it. My friend Deanna accidentally breathed on my birthday candles, so I reached across the table and smacked her for blowing them out. Later on the tape, you see a friend of mine trying to get on my brand new Rainbow Brite bike with the tassels and the training wheels and I run up and push her off the bike and onto the floor. While I was supposed to be mingling with my little friends, I hear the theme to SheRa coming from a TV in the house and I just up and run inside to go watch SheRa, leaving my guests to fend for themselves and wait for me. Long story short, I was an ungrateful brat on my birthday because I always got what I wanted and it was MINE, MINE, MINE. But Karma is a funny thing. At least I can look back on most of this stuff and laugh about it now.
I wanna say my first "traumatic" birthday was turning 7. I hate clowns. I'll say it again: I HATE CLOWNS! Something about them, they scare me to death. Guess what my Mom got for me (or rather, for herself) for my 7th birthday? Yup. Miss Giggles herself. I was too scared to come downstairs. "Make the clown go away!!" In retrospect, its not so horrible, but to a 7 year old who was terrified of clowns, it ruined my birthday. But it gets better.
For my 9th birthday I ordered an ice cream cake with black frosting (to match the invitations, which were black with neon writing on it, very 80's). It melted before all my guests arrived (we were going to eat cake, do presents, then go to Raging Waters) and the melted black frosting looked like nuclear waste. No one would eat it. The whole school heard about my ghetto cake when we got back from Summer break. Ok, not bad, but wait...it gets worse.
On my 11th birthday, I took some friends from school to Knotts Berry Farm and 3 of them DITCHED ME for half the day! I felt SO rejected. This was the first time I realized that people aren't always going to go out of their way to be considerate of your feelings, even if it is your "special day."
On my 15th birthday, my boyfriend at the time DUMPED ME and then ASKED OUT MY BEST FRIEND! On my 16th birthday I got heat stroke at Disneyland. Then on my 17th birthday, this same boyfriend, "accidentally" back-handed me. I got to walk around with an arm-shaped bruise across my chest the whole day. For my 18th birthday (by now we are engaged - I was really smart back then) he was in jail. On my 22nd birthday we were fighting and I spent my birthday ALONE at a bar. On my 24th birthday we were fighting AGAIN (this time we are married) and I spent most of the day walking the streets of Claremont crying like a dumb dumb. On my 25th birthday we were seperated (but trying to "work things out") and we got into a fight after my birthday lunch and he told me he wanted a divorce (he tried to take it back later, but by then the damage was done). OK that was probably a good thing. And then last year, at my 28th birthday celebration, I got the worst case of food poisoning I have ever had in my life. I had to be put on IV fluids in the Emergency Room and I missed almost 2 weeks of work.
As you can see, I've had some pretty jacked up birthdays. But I have had nice ones too. Aside from the food poisoning, last year I had a very lovely dinner with friends, and a nice lunch on my actual birthday with my coworkers. And on my 26th birthday, my friends at my job in Newport Beach planned a huge surprise "scavenger hunt" type thingie for my birthday and I was really happy and touched at the time and thought they put into it. All of this has taught me 2 things: 1. Some of the best gifts I have ever received have been thoughtful gestures that didn't cost a lot of money, but that made me feel special nonetheless and 2. Some people just flat out don't care what day it is, so pick the people you spend your birthday with wisely, or lower your expectations. Friday I will be 29. I really don't mind the aging part, in fact I plan on throwing myself a swanky, catered event for my 30th. Its the notion that every year could be really awesome or, if I let it, a huge dissappointment. But its like they say "expectations are just premeditated let downs" so I as much as I would like Friday to be special and full of surprises, at this point I am just hoping not to get my little feelings hurt by the end of the day or that some unexpected disaster doesn't come along. Because, to the rest of the universe, its just another day, and my expectations and attitude and how I act and react will govern whether its a good day, or a crappy day.