The Birthday Curse

The Dorkanese Word of the Day: Bombies (bawm-beez): Noun: 1. Something smelly that comes from something cute. See also: tooters. Example: Lucky made bombies in his litty box and I had to bust out the Febreeze to keep from dying.

Well, its technically tomorrow, and I can't sleep (damn Starbucks!) and I have a bunch of errands and housework to do when I get up, so I figure now is as good a time as any to explain The Birthday Curse.

I suppose it started when I was little. Being the only child my parents had together (Brian has a different Mom and is 14 years older than me) meant that I was able to be a spoiled little monkey for my birthday every year. There is video footage of my 5th birthday and it pains me to look at it. My friend Deanna accidentally breathed on my birthday candles, so I reached across the table and smacked her for blowing them out. Later on the tape, you see a friend of mine trying to get on my brand new Rainbow Brite bike with the tassels and the training wheels and I run up and push her off the bike and onto the floor. While I was supposed to be mingling with my little friends, I hear the theme to SheRa coming from a TV in the house and I just up and run inside to go watch SheRa, leaving my guests to fend for themselves and wait for me. Long story short, I was an ungrateful brat on my birthday because I always got what I wanted and it was MINE, MINE, MINE. But Karma is a funny thing. At least I can look back on most of this stuff and laugh about it now.
I wanna say my first "traumatic" birthday was turning 7. I hate clowns. I'll say it again: I HATE CLOWNS! Something about them, they scare me to death. Guess what my Mom got for me (or rather, for herself) for my 7th birthday? Yup. Miss Giggles herself. I was too scared to come downstairs. "Make the clown go away!!" In retrospect, its not so horrible, but to a 7 year old who was terrified of clowns, it ruined my birthday. But it gets better.
For my 9th birthday I ordered an ice cream cake with black frosting (to match the invitations, which were black with neon writing on it, very 80's). It melted before all my guests arrived (we were going to eat cake, do presents, then go to Raging Waters) and the melted black frosting looked like nuclear waste. No one would eat it. The whole school heard about my ghetto cake when we got back from Summer break. Ok, not bad, but wait...it gets worse.
On my 11th birthday, I took some friends from school to Knotts Berry Farm and 3 of them DITCHED ME for half the day! I felt SO rejected. This was the first time I realized that people aren't always going to go out of their way to be considerate of your feelings, even if it is your "special day."
On my 15th birthday, my boyfriend at the time DUMPED ME and then ASKED OUT MY BEST FRIEND! On my 16th birthday I got heat stroke at Disneyland. Then on my 17th birthday, this same boyfriend, "accidentally" back-handed me. I got to walk around with an arm-shaped bruise across my chest the whole day. For my 18th birthday (by now we are engaged - I was really smart back then) he was in jail. On my 22nd birthday we were fighting and I spent my birthday ALONE at a bar. On my 24th birthday we were fighting AGAIN (this time we are married) and I spent most of the day walking the streets of Claremont crying like a dumb dumb. On my 25th birthday we were seperated (but trying to "work things out") and we got into a fight after my birthday lunch and he told me he wanted a divorce (he tried to take it back later, but by then the damage was done). OK that was probably a good thing. And then last year, at my 28th birthday celebration, I got the worst case of food poisoning I have ever had in my life. I had to be put on IV fluids in the Emergency Room and I missed almost 2 weeks of work.
As you can see, I've had some pretty jacked up birthdays. But I have had nice ones too. Aside from the food poisoning, last year I had a very lovely dinner with friends, and a nice lunch on my actual birthday with my coworkers. And on my 26th birthday, my friends at my job in Newport Beach planned a huge surprise "scavenger hunt" type thingie for my birthday and I was really happy and touched at the time and thought they put into it. All of this has taught me 2 things: 1. Some of the best gifts I have ever received have been thoughtful gestures that didn't cost a lot of money, but that made me feel special nonetheless and 2. Some people just flat out don't care what day it is, so pick the people you spend your birthday with wisely, or lower your expectations. Friday I will be 29. I really don't mind the aging part, in fact I plan on throwing myself a swanky, catered event for my 30th. Its the notion that every year could be really awesome or, if I let it, a huge dissappointment. But its like they say "expectations are just premeditated let downs" so I as much as I would like Friday to be special and full of surprises, at this point I am just hoping not to get my little feelings hurt by the end of the day or that some unexpected disaster doesn't come along. Because, to the rest of the universe, its just another day, and my expectations and attitude and how I act and react will govern whether its a good day, or a crappy day.

Wonton Wednesday with a side of MacDuff and some New Marilyn Manson

The Dorkanese Phrase of the Day: Fat Nap 1. When an animal eats and then lays flat on his back and sleeps with his feet in the air and his belly pointed straight up, as if allowing room for it to flourish and become fatter. Example: After breakfast, Lucky took his usual fat nap at the foot of my bed and almost fell on the floor when he woke up and tried to roll over.

Ah, Wonton Wednesday. Trina and I actually discovered this concept by accident one day when we stopped at the Pick Up Stix in Upland for lunch one day. Every Wednesday, you can get Cream Cheese Wontons for 25 cents each, so on Wednesdays when I am free, we've started doing Wonton Wednesday, or Wontonsday as Gregg calls it. And today was one of the Wednesdays that I was able to do it. We are still working out the magic number to order. Once we got 40, once we got 80, today we got 30 and that left only about a dozen or so after we finished stuffing ourselves. Next week we will try 25 and see how that works.
My Contracts Law final was today. As promised, my instructor brought in his Scotty dog, MacDuff, or Duffy as he is called for short. I hogged the dog for most of class. He is so cute! I want one now, but Lucky would be so jealous. Plus I'm barely home as it is, the poor dog would probably not get enough attention. Maybe someday when Lucky chills out and I have a yard of my own and more time to spend at home, or when I have a family, maybe then I might get a dog. We'll see.
So after class I met my friend Greg (not Trina's husband Gregg, with 3 G's, but my buddy from my old work, Greg, with 2 G's) and he gave me an early birthday present: Marilyn Manson's New CD!! I was able to listen to the first 6 tracks on the way home and I LOVE IT!! I always say that he writes his best stuff when he is coming out of a relationship (sad, isn't it?) and so far this album is a shining example of it. When it got to track 5, Arma-g**-d***-mother-f******-geddon, I cranked the volume super high. This is the MM that I know and love. I am very stoked.
Friday is my birthday!! I am both excited and scared. Perhaps tomorrow I will blog about "The Birthday Curse" and explain myself a little better.

Big Ups to Daniel!

For making me my new background!! It is perfect and I love it!! Thank you!! You are awesome!!

A Wonky Day

First, for those who are saying "huh?" to the title, I would like to introduce my newest 2 segments to the blog: The Dorkanese Word of the Day and The Dorkanese Phrase of the Day. I am teaching you all the sacred tongue of the dorks, one word or phrase at a time. It should help you to understand subsequent postings a lot better. Today let's do a word.

The Dorkanese Word of the Day: Wonky: (wahn-kee)Adjective, 1. Strange, unusual 2. Messed up, not right. Example: "Paris Hilton's one wonky eye weirds me out so much every time I see her I can't stop looking at it."

Well, today started out normal enough. Lucky woke me up at 4:30am to eat breakfast. I haven't been putting his dry food out lately because he gets canned food twice a day and he is getting really fat. And before you say it, I can't cut the canned food because sometimes its the only water he will consume in a day, and he is prone to kidney infections, which are expensive to treat and make us both miserable. Anyhoo, I went back to bed and got up around 9am to take Heather to the KLOS Blood Drive. As we are walking out we have to stop at a table for Heather to get her concert tickets (they give them to everyone who donates) and the girl behind the table says "Is your name Holly?" At this point, I am looking at her and I don't recognize her, but I say "Yes" and she says "We went to St. Lucy's together." I look again, still nothing. Finally, she says "Jordan." Yes, Aimee, Sherry and Amy, if you are reading this, it was Jordan H, who not only went to St. Lucy's with me, she also went to Foothill Christian with us since 2nd grade. We exchanged pleasantries for a second and Heather mentioned that she went to Foothill with her too and then we left. Wonky.
Later I went to my Dad's and did what we do every Tuesday: watched the new Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel. If you have never seen it, its a show about crab fishing off the coast of Alaska, the most dangerous job in the World. They have production crews on about 4 or 5 boats and document what its like being on a crab boat. Its a REAL reality show, not this staged crap they have on network TV, and it is addicting. My favorite boat is the Time Bandit. I like the show, but I also like the idea that it is something that my Dad and I do together. I lived with him for like 3 years and I miss hanging out with him, so stuff like this is just one of those simple treasures in life. That was the most normal part of my day.
Then, as I am driving home, I can see the house and I have dinner getting cold in the seat next to me, and I guess I got a little anxious and impatient, because I "made a longish pause" at the stop sign instead of "coming to a full and complete stop" at the stop sign and one of Claremont's finest pulled me over, right in front on my house. Officer Whatshisface not only looked just like a creep that I had went on a blind date with about 8 months ago, but he decided to give me crap about the fact that my license still has my Dad's address in Glendora on it when I said I lived "right there" and pointed to our house. It is called a permanent mailing address. You are allowed to have them. All my mail goes there. But dude did not care. Dude even ran my name in the system! He had me sitting there for like 15 minutes. I was even starting to wonder if something was wrong, even though I knew darn well nothing would come back when he ran me. I thought "Does someone with my name have warrants or something? What the heck is taking so long?" Then dude came back and gave me my ticket and told me I need to change my address on my license. Yeah, I'll get right on that. I still couldn't get over how much dude looked like the aforementioned creepy date, I mean he looked JUST LIKE HIM. And I have never had anyone give me crap about using that address on my license. Wonky!

Like the header?

Daniel made it for me. Thank you Daniel!!

Welcome to My Blog

OK, so I gave in. On top of my Myspace, my Facebook and my Twitter, I now have a blog. Oh yeah, by the way, my name is Holly Michelle Chandler (everyone say "HI HOLLY!") Most of you who are going to be reading this already know me. Some of you have been bugging me for years to start a blog. Well, all I can say to you is if I write this, you had better read it! Just kidding. First and foremost, lemme lay down a few rules and guidelines about what you will and will not see here:

1. From my experience blogging on Myspace, I have learned it is best NOT to blog about your relationships or anything deeply personal. It saves you the trouble of having to delete embarrassing stuff later. You will hear me drop names in my blog if what I am blogging about involves another person, but if you don't already know who these people I am naming are (most of you reading are my friends so I'm sure you will know the people who I spend most of my time with), send me a private message and ask. Otherwise, presume everyone I name is either a friend or family member.
2. I have very strong feelings, as does everyone I'm sure, about politics and religion, and though I may comment one way or the other on a current political or social issue, this is not an invite to get into an arguement about my beliefs over yours. This blog is strictly my OPINION and COMMENTARY on randomness in my daily life. If you believe differently than I do and you want to post a rebuttal, do it on YOUR blog and I will gladly read it.
3. I will blog when I feel like it and when I have time. Being a full time college student, as well as someone who is preparing to re-enter the workforce, means my schedule is never consistent. Some weeks are wackier than others. Don't bug me about blogging. I still love you though.
4. Just like in my personal life, I promise to try very hard not to cuss here. Who knows? A potential employer or an instructor may be reading this, and I don't need to be dropping F bombs.
5. I don't beef, I'm a vegetarian. LOL what I mean is, while I may whine or express a frustration on here, its not directed at anyone. If I have something to say to you, trust me, you will here it from my lips and to your face. Basically that means don't take anything posted here personally, even if you think you identify.

OK 5 is enough rules for now. I'm very excited about the coming months, so hopefully there will be a lot to share with you. My birthday is this coming Friday, July 31st, and I hope to have some pics from various birthday celebrations this week to share with you. I'm also excited about starting at a new school next month (while still enrolled at my old school) , football season (Chargers and 49ers baby!!), my favorite season (Fall), my favorite holiday (Halloween) and some special events involving friends and family (birthdays, weddings) so it should be fun. Hope you will enjoy a little peak inside my life.

Oh yeah, I guess I should explain the blog's name. Most of you know my cat, Lucky the Monkey Cat I'm sure. I named it after him. I may post a picture of him in the background sometime so you can all see his monkey tail. And no, I'm not one of those people who will blog all the time about their cat, but he does do funny stuff sometimes, so if I can get pics, I may post them.