Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Random, Brief, Happy Dreams

"I talk of dreams, which are the product of an idle brain." - Mercutio from William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet"

So I've blogged before about weird dreams or bad dreams. Last week I had a happy dream I want to share.

First let me say that this is one of those dreams where you are watching the action sometimes from the first person perspective and sometimes from the third person perspective. Also, like looking out a shower door covered with steam except for the spot you just wiped with your hand, it is bright, a little blurry and I can't see everything in the picture, just what's in the middle. It went something like this:

I'm in a store, looking at stuff on the rack near the door that exits to an indoor space, probably the mall. I hear a man's voice somewhere to my right.
"Oop, there he goes."
I turn around and glance over my left shoulder and see a little toddler in a blue and white shirt who is waddling away from me towards the exit, giggling as he tries to make a wobbly escape. I can't see what else he has on because of the whole "looking through the hole you wiped in the steamy shower door" effect. The shirt says something on it but I can't read it because it is blurry.
"Hey," I say to him in a gentle voice, "get back here you little fugitive."
Since I'm closer to him than the voice I heard off to my right, I turn to chase him, though I sense someone is following behind me. I think to myself that I should have bought one of those "monkey backpack child leash" thingies like I always said I would and wonder why I haven't yet. I don't know why I am thinking this, but I am nonetheless.
The toddler turns his head and giggles. He has short blond curls, like I did when I was 2 or 3, deep-set brown eyes and a charming but mischievous little smile with some baby teeth on top. He looks similar to pictures of me as a toddler, only the eyes aren't quite like mine (mine are brown and deep-set but something about his eyes looks different) and his smile isn't mine, and he is, of course, a boy, but I recognize him from somewhere and he looks at me as if he knows me. The look on his face says "Chase me."
In a few quick, big steps I have caught up to him. After all, he is just a toddler, plus he stopped to turn around and giggle at me. He wanted me to catch him. The only reason he ran was because I turned my attention away from him for a few seconds. He always knows how to get my attention. He does this a lot. I don't know how I know this, but I do.
Now the view switches to third person. I can see myself, from about the waist up, scoop the child up. Both of us are giggling and smiling. As I pick up and bring the toddler to my chest, which obscures whatever shirt I am wearing from full view, another arm comes across mine, as if someone was coming up behind me, and tickles the little boy's tummy. Again, because of the "shower door effect" all I can see of this person is their forearm, larger than mine and with dark arm hair, presumably a man's. I feel a sense of comfort, happiness and normality. Everything is OK. Life is simple and wonderful and I am so happy. Even thinking about it makes me happy.
I doesn't sound like much but everything in the dream happened in sorta slow motion, so what would normally take a few seconds in reality took a few minutes in the dream.

Good dreams tend to be like that for me. I see flashes of seemingly mundane things that would normally only take a few seconds in reality, but play out in this bright, blurry around the edges, slow motion view. And I always wake up feeling like everything is OK and what little details I can see I always remember, and remembering them makes me happy for some reason.

So what was it? Who was the little boy? Who was the man? What does it mean? I've come to find out that whether my dreams end up meaning something later or are just a manifestation of thoughts that I already have dancing around my subconscious or are just random collages of the things I see during my waking hours, it's better not to think on their meaning too much and just enjoy them.

Ever hear of deja vu? I always have it during random, stupid moments, like I'll see a particular thing and hear a particular thing at the same time, and I get the feeling I have heard and seen these two things together before. I often wonder if the reason I feel as if I have been there before, but can't remember when or where, is because of these random little happy dreams about nothing in particular. Who knows?

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