OCD in Action

This is truly pathetic but I really don't care.
Sometimes the people I know think I am strange because I associate certain songs, TV shows or movies with certain people, places or holidays. This is usually because I have memories that link them together.
If it is New Years Eve, I have to hear Prince's "1999" because one year on New Year's Eve I heard it while I was out dancing and thought it was really appropriate. If it is Halloween I have to hear 'Thriller" because they would always show that video on MTV around Halloween, and I would watch it while I was putting on my costume and getting ready to go out. The movie "An Officer and a Gentlemen" will forever remind me of Munich because when I was there Jodie and I watched it translated into German. "Es tut meir leid, nein kinder..."
In this case, if it is a 3 or 4 day weekend, I have to watch The Twilight Zone because when I was little, every time there was a 3 or 4 day weekend (Labor Day, Thanksgiving, 4th of July, Memorial Day, New Years, etc.) either Channel 5 or Channel 11 would have a Twilight Zone marathon and my Dad and I would watch it together. Between the two of us, my Dad and I have probably seen every single Twilight Zone ever made, all 156 episodes. They never run all of them during the marathons, usually about 40 or 50 of the most popular ones. It's sad, even when I had plans on these particular holidays, I would check the program guide to see which ones were playing at what time so I could plan my day and not miss my favorites. It was not uncommon to hear me say "I have to be home by 9pm. The Hitch-Hiker is coming on" or "I didn't get to bed last night til 3am because they showed The Howling Man at 2:30am." If I'm not at my Dad's I've even called him up and said things like "Dad! Put it on Channel 5 in 10 minutes! They're gonna show It's A Good Life."
I told you, pathetic, right? Well, it gets better.
So I said they USED to show Twilight Zone marathons on all the holidays. Well, now they only show them on the 4th of July. What's a girl to do?
A couple of years ago I discovered that a lot of the episodes are on YouTube so if I wanted to hunt them down (usually an episode is uploaded into 3 parts) I could. Today I figured out how to make a playlist on YouTube, so no more hunting. I now have my very own Twilight Zone Marathon playlist, with 25 episodes (and growing), all queued up and ready to watch whenever I need a fix. That's over 12 hours, and I'm not done adding episodes yet.

"It's just a piece of paper..."

Last Friday I was over at Danny's house so that we could go to Party City and get one of those air horns for his CSUF Commencement Ceremony on Sunday along with some stuff to make a big, obnoxious sign for me to hold up. While I was there, he told me that while he was over at his friend's house, his friend's older brother and he were talking, during which Danny mentioned that he was graduating with his Bachelor's degree on Sunday, to which the guy replied "It's just a piece of paper..."
Knowing Danny as well as I do, and being a student in pursuit of a Bachelor's degree myself, I knew that this thoughtless statement was getting to him, despite the fact that the person who said it is a loser. I know if someone had said that to me, after all the work I've done over the last 3 and a half years, I'd be livid. As much as his Mom and I told him to consider the source and let it go, we could tell it was still bothering him.
Saturday while Danny was out running errands, I picked up his Mom to go shopping. We went to Macy's and got him 5 thoughtfully selected shirts as a graduation present, then we went to Party City and got some banners and balloons to hang up at the house to surprise Danny with. The plan was to sneak back to the house Sunday after the celebratory lunch and hang the balloons and banners while we had the other guests stall him at the restaurant. We picked up a "Congrats Grad" hanging banner, 6 assorted Mylar balloons, and a special customizable sign. Jan and I knew just what to put on that one.
The ceremony at CSUF started at 8:00am Sunday morning. I made sure to get there before Danny did so he didn't see the balloons or other stuff in my car. He loved the sign I made and I got a lot of pictures of him, just like he wanted. We even used the crappy air horn, but it didn't really work that well. After the ceremony we all headed back to West Covina to have lunch at Applebee's. After his Mom paid the check, we made a hurried exit, but insisted that everyone else stay and enjoy themselves a bit longer. I told Art and Chris to keep him at the restaurant for another 15 minutes. It worked out perfectly, as he rolled up seconds after I tied the last balloon to the front of the house. He got out of his car and looked at all the balloons and banners, and when he read the customized banner we made him, his face lit up and he laughed. There, in big letters for all the neighbors to see, were the words "Not Just A Piece Of Paper!" After standing outside for several minutes admiring mine and his Mom's efforts, we dragged him inside to open his gifts. He actually liked all the shirts we picked out, which is amazing because he usually ends up exchanging at least one thing when you buy him clothes. We spent the rest of the afternoon uploading photos and working on a submission for the school's website that he was asked to do and just catching up and visiting. After 12 hours I finally went home. I was very proud of my friend, and he was very grateful for all that his Mom and I had done to make his day special. Next year it will be my turn and I can't wait.

If you aren't really asleep, are you dreaming?

My General Education classes are piling on the homework lately. My law classes are building up to finals, so the workload isn't quite there, yet. I've been working out fairly consistently with Trina on the Wii Fit. The animals in my house are shedding and trying to hump the throw pillows, so the house gets dirtier faster. In short, I'm under a lot of stress (not all of it bad, but stress nonetheless). I'm tired most of the time, but I am not sleeping that well.
At some point during the middle of the day I find myself sleepy, but when I lay down to take a nap, I'm not completely asleep. I can still hear most things and I toss. Then, in the middle of the night, I will wake up suddenly and lay around like this for a few hours.
In this "not quite asleep, but not really awake" state, I have these dreams, or what I am starting to think are hallucinations with my eyes shut. I have the same ones over and over again. Or rather, the same one over and over again.
My mind will be off doing whatever, thinking, dreaming, then as I am laying there, I'll hear a little girl say my name. The first time it happened a few days ago it kinda freaked me out and I woke up. It was so real. Sometimes I can see the top of her head. She's either a large toddler or a small child because the top of her head came just over my Dad's super high pillowtop mattress. Her hair is somewhere between blond and red, like strawberry blond maybe, but light. The other day when I was taking a nap at my Dad's I swore I could see her standing there for a split second when I awoke. Sometimes she touches my arm, but she always says the same thing, never urgent, never more than sweet but persistent, in a little girl's voice: "Holly...Holly...Holly..."
Sometimes I grumble at her and wake myself up: "I'm sleeping." or "What?" Sometimes it cuts into some other dream that I am having and it will startle me awake just from the interruption. I have yet to yell at her, but I know at some point I will out of frustration. I only hope I don't embarrass myself by waking up my roommates or alerting my Dad and my Brother by yelling in my sleep.
That's why I think I may be hallucinating while I am half asleep, because who else gets woken up all the time by imaginary children?
I know its the endorphins from working out more and the serotonin from an over-active brain who has too much homework and is frustrated by a house in need of almost constant maintenance. A body that wants to keep moving and a brain that is always planning, pondering and processing must surely be the cause of this. Maybe in a few weeks when the semester is over, she'll let me sleep, or maybe she'll tell me what she wants so I can get her to stop waking me.

Well, there's always next year...

Well, this will be yet another year where I won't see a Triple Crown winner. Bob Baffert switched jockeys and ended up winning the Preakness with Lookin' At Lucky (the horse I had picked for the Derby). Oh well. Still had fun watching the race and I'm still looking forward to the Belmont.

Derby Day

Some people might think my family has weird priorities. On my Dad's side of the family, we don't celebrate Easter in April, but on the first Saturday in May, we celebrate the running of the Kentucky Derby. Dad makes corned beef and puts out munchies and Brian and I are expected to attend. Sometimes my Aunt and Uncle come out, but not always. If I am not there at least 2 hours before post time, my phone is ringing. The week before my Dad will start reminding me, so that I don't make plans, as if I could forget. This same ritual takes place for the Preakness and the Belmont, but since the Derby is the first race of the Triple Crown, it is special. This is the race where we get behind a horse to win the Triple Crown, hopefully. If someone in our immediate family won the Lottery, it wouldn't even be a question or a discussion, I would be online booking our plane tickets and hotel accommodations to Kentucky, Maryland and New York for next year's races. I would be getting an extra ticket for Maryland to bring Jonie of course. Every since I was little, that was a dream for me: to wear a sundress and a great big hat to the Derby, to visit Ruffian's grave at Pimlico and leave her a single rose, to be in the stands for the singing of "New York, New York" before the final race.
We start looking at horses and making Derby predictions about a month or two in advance, usually after watching the Santa Anita Derby and a couple of other pre-Derby races around the country. Our betting styles are unique. My Dad bets odds and jockeys, never picks a dead-on favorite (called a "chalky") and usually doesn't care what the horse is named, and usually just bets one horse to win or place. My Brother likes long shots because if one hits, they pay big, and he will usually bet a trifecta or an exacta, mixed with chalkies and long shots. I pick one horse to win or place: that perfect combination of odds (2nd or 3rd favorite), jockey, starting position, name (picking the horse whose name I liked worked great for me at the track as a kid and I got a lot of Toys R Us money out of it), trainer, and if I have watched them run before or not that may also be a factor in my choice.
This year for the Derby, just like last year, the first horse I was looking at ended up not running. A local horse out of Santa Anita named after my cat with a jockey I know (talented, but a jerk whom I have met and can't stand) and a winning trainer who went off as the morning line co-favorite ended up being my pick this year. I had seen him race before, but I was a little unsure about him because of the jockey. The other favorite was being ridden by a jockey whom I admire and came from a trainer who had never won a Derby, but being me, I have to pick a horse and stay with it, though I secretly wanted this horse to win.
In my lifetime, I have never seen a Triple Crown winner (a horse that has won the Derby, the Preakness and the Belmont) and every year I hope for 2 things: 1. That no one gets hurt (the last few years of the Triple Crown have been marred by the tragic injuries and subsequent deaths of horses like Barbaro and Eight Belles) and 2. That someone wins the Triple Crown. Last year Mine That Bird and Rachael Alexandra ran AMAZING races, but both canceled the others chances. If only Rachael Alexandra had run in the Derby instead of the Oaks, I might have seen a Triple Crown winner, but oh well.
The horse I picked came in 5th, thanks in part to my hated jockey. But Calvin Borrell, on Super Saver (the horse I mentioned before that I secretly wanted to win) ran away with first place and now I am excited to see him run the Preakness and the Belmont. Maybe I will get my Triple Crown winner this year. In 6 short weeks, I'll know.